Understanding the nuanced elements of estate planning is crucial for ensuring that one’s legacy is preserved and that their intentions are respected after death. While wills and trusts often dominate the discussion, a lesser-known yet significantly valuable instrument—the letter of wishes—plays an increasingly important role. Though it is not legally binding, this document can provide indispensable guidance that complements a will, offering clarity and insight into a testator’s personal motivations and preferences. This article explores the vital function this document serves, its uses, its advantages and limitations, and best practices for incorporating it into a comprehensive estate plan.
A letter of wishes is a written document that accompanies a will or trust, aimed at offering informal guidance to executors, trustees, and family members. Unlike a will, which is a legal document that must comply with strict formalities, a letter of wishes is typically more flexible. It is not legally binding and therefore does not carry the force of law. However, it can wield considerable moral authority, especially when drafted clearly and thoughtfully.
The primary purpose of such a letter is to explain the rationale behind certain decisions made in a will or to guide trustees in administering discretionary trusts. Because of its non-binding nature, it allows a level of privacy and adaptability not available in formal legal instruments. This flexibility makes it a versatile tool for addressing sensitive family dynamics, elaborating on complex financial arrangements, and expressing personal values and aspirations.
Perhaps the most important role of this document is to provide context to the will. Wills are often written in stark legal terms, focussing on asset distribution without the luxury of detailed explanation. A letter of wishes serves to fill this interpretive gap, shedding light on why certain bequests were made, why some beneficiaries may have been excluded, or how sentimental items ought to be distributed.
For example, if a parent leaves unequal inheritances to their children, this can provoke disputes or emotional stress if the rationale is unclear. An accommodating letter could articulate the parent’s reasoning, such as previous financial gifts received by one child or unique needs of another beneficiary. While it cannot enforce the testator’s motivations, it can help beneficiaries understand the reasoning behind the decisions, thus reducing potential conflict and misunderstandings.
In the case of trusts, especially discretionary ones, trustees are granted significant leeway in deciding how and when to distribute funds. Guidance from a letter of wishes can offer a framework for their decision-making, ensuring they honour the spirit, if not the exact letter, of the settlor’s intentions. For example, a settlor may express a desire for the trustee to prioritise funding for grandchildren’s educational expenses or support for a beneficiary with special needs.
One of the major limitations of a will is that it becomes a public document once probate is granted. Anyone who wishes to do so may apply for a copy, which can be problematic when it contains sensitive or controversial information. This is not the case with a letter of wishes, which remains private and confidential, accessible only to those it is intended for, such as trustees and executors.
This privacy makes it a suitable place to articulate delicate issues, such as strained family relationships, concerns about a beneficiary’s financial responsibility, or personal values that the testator wishes to pass on. Furthermore, its non-binding nature allows it to be updated more easily than a will. Testators can revise their letter as circumstances evolve—such as changes in family circumstances, financial conditions, or personal beliefs—without having to go through a formal legal process or incur legal fees.
The growing diversity of family arrangements, including blended families, cohabitation without marriage, and estranged relatives, has made estate planning increasingly complex. It is not uncommon for disputes to arise, especially when expectations are not met or when perceived fairness is questioned.
In such settings, a letter can serve as a bridge between legal documentation and familial understanding. A settlor or testator might explain why they chose to provide for a stepchild but not a biological child, or why an ex-spouse was still entrusted with guardianship responsibilities. The insight offered by such explanations can serve to neutralise potential conflict or at least mitigate the emotional backlash that may arise when the formal documents are revealed.
Moreover, where minor children are involved, a letter can be addressed to the appointed guardians to provide practical advice and share insights about parental values. What educational paths the parents would have preferred, what religious or cultural practices they hoped would be continued, and even day-to-day parenting expectations can be articulated within these documents. Though not legally enforceable, guardians often appreciate this guidance, especially when faced with the daunting task of raising someone else’s child.
Estate planning often focuses on tangible assets—money, real estate, investments—but wealth is also emotional and spiritual. Testators may wish to convey their affection, gratitude, or final personal messages to loved ones, and a letter is an excellent medium for such expressions.
A parent might wish to leave heartfelt messages for each of their children, reflect on shared memories, or express hopes for their future. While such sentiments could be made in person or in a private letter, placing them within the framework of a letter in the estate plan ensures they are preserved and delivered appropriately after death. These messages can offer comfort, closure, and a sense of connection—elements that purely financial planning documents lack.
Moreover, individuals who have carried forward family businesses, philanthropic causes, or even artistic legacies can use their letters to share stories, values, and visions for future stewardship. In this way, the document becomes a kind of ethical will—a non-material bequest that promotes continuity between generations.
Executors and trustees are entrusted with significant responsibilities. In many cases, they are friends or family members rather than professionals. While selecting such individuals often stems from a desire to keep management within trusted circles, it can create challenges if they lack legal or financial expertise.
A letter of wishes can ease these burdens by providing clear, written advice about how the estate should be managed and administered. From logistical tips, like preferred funeral arrangements or the method of handling digital assets, to more strategic ones, such as guidance on retaining or liquidating family-owned property, the document can serve as an invaluable reference.
Additionally, testators may suggest how conflicts among beneficiaries should be resolved, recommending mediation, for instance, before resorting to litigation. This foresight can help maintain family harmony and prevent costly legal disputes.
For individuals with philanthropic interests, a letter can articulate charitable goals that are not explicitly outlined in the will. While the will may contain bequests to charitable organisations, the rationale behind the giving, criteria for selecting other potential beneficiaries, or even aspirations for ongoing charitable involvement may best be expressed informally.
When a charitable foundation or trust is set up, the founder may wish to preserve the philosophical underpinnings of their giving strategy. Whether supporting local education, global healthcare, or environmental sustainability, a letter can spell out long-term visions and intended impacts. Trustees tasked with carrying out these goals find such letters instrumental in aligning their practical decisions with the settlor’s original values.
While typically associated with posthumous wishes, such letters can also serve during the testator’s lifetime. In cases where lasting powers of attorney (LPA) are in place, especially for health and welfare decisions, a letter can guide attorneys in making choices aligned with the individual’s values. Though separate from the legally required LPA documentation, this accompanying advice can be a valuable resource.
For example, a letter might detail preferences for end-of-life care, articulate concerns over specific treatments, or offer guidance on institutional versus in-home care. These insights add a human touch to what is otherwise a strictly legal appointment. Attorneys, whether family members or professionals, derive real benefit from understanding the emotional context behind their roles.
Despite its many advantages, this document is not without risks. Its non-binding status means executors and trustees are under no legal obligation to follow the guidance provided. While moral responsibility can be a compelling motivator, there are circumstances where practical or legal considerations might lead to deviations. This is particularly relevant if the letter contradicts the provisions of the will, potentially causing confusion or even disputes.
Also, while the informal character allows for regular updates, this can backfire if versions are not clearly dated or if multiple inconsistent letters exist. Over-reliance on the letter to address matters that should be in the will can also inadvertently weaken an estate plan’s legal robustness.
Furthermore, although the letter is private, it may be disclosed during litigation, especially in disputes over testamentary intent or trustee behaviour. Therefore, care must be taken with tone and content—the letter should remain respectful, supportive, and consistent with legal documentation.
To maximise its efficacy, the letter should be clear, concise, and well-organised. It should be dated and signed, even if not witnessed. The most recent version should be stored with the will and other estate planning documents, and prior versions should be destroyed to avoid confusion.
The tone should be instructive, not prescriptive, acknowledging the discretionary power of trustees or personal representatives. Although the testator may articulate strong preferences, it is wise to leave room for trustees or executors to adapt based on future developments or unforeseen circumstances.
It is also prudent to review and update the letter periodically, particularly after major life events such as births, deaths, divorces, or material changes in financial conditions. Keeping the relevant professional advisers, including solicitors and financial planners, informed about the letter and its contents can also help ensure it is used effectively and coherently within the broader estate plan.
In the evolving landscape of estate planning, flexibility, clarity, and humanity are more important than ever. The letter of wishes, though informal and non-binding, offers a meaningful way to bridge legal formalities with personal sentiment. It complements a will or trust by providing valuable context, emotional resonance, and practical guidance—helping to reduce disputes, preserve family harmony, and honour the testator’s legacy in both spirit and detail.
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